01 Aug 2015

Luxury Cruise, and a Long Road Trip: "Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation" and "Vacation"

By Mike Schulz

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - ROGUE NATION

Before a recent screening, I saw one of those previews in which a Hollywood star welcomes you to your local Cinemark chain, and as soon as that star said, "Hi, I'm Tom Cruise," a woman in the front row let out a loud, seemingly involuntary "Yech." The preview, of course, was for Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation, and perhaps the best solace I can offer that woman is that while I frequently find Crusie yech-y, too, the movie itself is a lot of fun. It's even more fun if you can forget that Cruise is starring in it. But, y'know ... good luck with that.

20 Jun 2015

Emotion Picture: "Inside Out"

By Mike Schulz

Inside OutINSIDE OUT

There appear to be two ideal ways to discuss, in review form, Pixar's hugely entertaining animated comedy Inside Out. One is through something short and sweet that suggests the experience of director Pete Docter's hilarious, incredibly sophisticated charmer without giving away all of its best jokes and most trenchant observations. The other is through a dissertation of some 20,000 words that digs deeply into the rather staggering psychological nuance of this thing, with lengthy footnotes exploring, say, The Role of Abstract Thought in the Prepubescent Female Psyche, or The Singular Comedic Melancholia of Phyllis from The Office. I'm opting for short(-ish) and sweet. And you're welcome.

14 Jun 2015

Dino Might: "Jurassic World" and "D-Day: Normandy 1944"

By Mike Schulz

Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard in Jurassic WorldJURASSIC WORLD

Hopefully it won't happen for many, many years. But when Steven Spielberg eventually passes away, will any of us be allowed to notice?

11 Aug 2013

Air, Sea, and Land Travels: "Planes," "Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters," and "We're the Millers"

By Mike Schulz

PlanesPLANES and PERCY JACKSON: SEA OF MONSTERS

From a grown-up's perspective, I guess that as far as family entertainment at the cineplex goes, Disney's animated Planes and the mythology adventure Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters could both be considered "harmless." But can you really apply that adjective when something, in both movies, is indeed being killed - namely, your time?

14 Jul 2013

Unhappy Madison: "Grown Ups 2" and "Pacific Rim"

By Mike Schulz

Kevin James, Adam Sandler, and Chris Rock in Grown Ups 2GROWN UPS 2

I'm presuming that you're reading this while seated. But just in case you aren't, you might want to grab the nearest chair, because in Grown Ups 2, the strongest, funniest, and damn near only performance in the movie is given by Taylor Lautner.

Yes. Taylor Lautner.

And the apocalypse just got a little bit closer.

12 May 2013

Out with the Old Sport, in with the New: "The Great Gatsby," "Mud," and "Peeples"

By Mike Schulz

Carey Mulligan and Leonardo DiCaprio in The Great GatsbyTHE GREAT GATSBY

Although, in the end, the film wound up an engaging and surprisingly touching entertainment, and it's visually spellbinding throughout, the first half hour of Baz Luhrmann's The Great Gatsby felt, to me, exactly like the first half hours of all Baz Luhrmann movies: annoying as hell.

16 Dec 2012

Hobbit Forming: "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey"

By Mike Schulz

Andy Serkis in The Hobbit: An Unexpected JourneyTHE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY

In all honesty, I was a little bored by Peter Jackson's The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey before the movie even started. A nearly three-hour fantasy adventure with a colon in the title based on (one-third of) a beloved J.R.R. Tolkein title? A tale of dwarfs and elves, and a kindly old wizard played by Ian McKellen, concerning a perilous trek across New Zealand? An epic narrative involving an innocent's coming of age, and inanimate objects that prove surprisingly ambulatory, and a shriveled schizophrenic with bulging eyes who mourns the loss of his "Precious-s-s-s"? Haven't we all been here before? And beyond securing gazillions of dollars for New Line Cinema, was there really any need to go back?

04 Sep 2012

"Get the Hell Out of Me!": "The Possession," "Lawless," and "Celeste & Jesse Forever"

By Mike Schulz

Jeffrey Dean Morgan in The PossessionTHE POSSESSION

The new horror thriller The Possession is about a little girl who requires an exorcism to remove the evil dybbuk inhabiting her body, and it opens with a title card informing us that the film is "based on a true story." You know what I'm aching to see one of these days? An exorcism-themed entertainment that isn't based on a true story. Can you imagine how much fun these things could be if we weren't consistently asked to believe in them?

05 Feb 2012

"Dude, Where's My Conscience?": "Chronicle," "The Woman in Black," "Big Miracle," and "The Last Reef"

By Mike Schulz

Dane DeHaan in ChronicleCHRONICLE

Part superhero (and -villain) origin fable and part teen-angst melodrama, Chronicle concerns three high-schoolers who venture down a mysterious hole in the Earth and emerge with telekinetic powers, and the best thing about the movie is that its leads subsequently behave just as high-schoolers likely would in such a situation.

15 May 2011

Single Wiped Female: "Bridesmaids," "Jumping the Broom," and "Priest"

By Mike Schulz

Ellie Kemper, Rose Byrne, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Maya Rudolph, and Kristen Wiig in BridesmaidsBRIDESMAIDS

You wouldn't necessarily think that exhaustion and depression would be fertile subjects for a big-screen slapstick - at least, for a big-screen slapstick that didn't star Paul Giamatti. Yet in director Paul Feig's buoyant and brainy Bridesmaids, Kristen Wiig plays a sad, discouraged, frequently humiliated maid of honor with such inventiveness and style that she seems to be creating a new comic archetype right before your eyes. Hiding her misery behind a thinly veiled mask of courtesy and good cheer, and letting her anger and resentment spill out in sarcastic asides and messy, chaotic bursts, Wiig's Annie - like many of the brilliantly talented performer's most memorable characters - is a singular creation. And so, too, is Bridesmaids, a female-driven Judd Apatow comedy (he's a co-producer) with the rare distinction of being smarter than it is funny, though it's still plenty funny.

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