Saoirse Ronan in The Lovely BonesTHE LOVELY BONES

The Lovely Bones, director Peter Jackson's long-awaited take on Alice Sebold's beloved novel, is a stupefyingly bad movie, the kind of big-screen debacle that makes you wonder if its entire creative team wasn't suffering through some hideous, collective blockage of talent all throughout filming. You can feel it going wrong in the first minutes, when a car's quick swerve results in an unconvincing and inappropriately comedic loss of a hubcap, but the shock of Jackson's endeavor is that practically nothing in it goes right. Tonally, just about every scene here feels a little bit off, and the rest feel way, way off; it's almost as if Jackson, screenwriting collaborators Fran Walsh and Philippa Boyens, and a (usually) wildly gifted cast purposely set out to make the absolute worst Lovely Bones adaptation possible.

Ethan Hawke in DaybreakersDAYBREAKERS

There are probably perfectly valid reasons that I'm unaware of, but for all the wonders that CGI effects have delivered over the years, why is it so hard to produce a decent fireball?

Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor DreamcoatTheatre

Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

Circa '21 Dinner Playhouse

Wednesday, January 13 through Saturday, March 20

 

Like the swallows to Capistrano, you can count on Ann Nieman to make an annual return to the Circa '21 Dinner Playhouse, as the Texas-based director has helmed each of the venue's January productions since 2005. And 2010 finds her returning for one of Circa '21's most popular titles in Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, which Nieman last staged for the theatre five years ago, and which was noteworthy for being the last Circa '21 production to feature a certain local Arts Editor amongst its cast. Modesty forbids mentioning who that is, exactly, but ... .

Oh, screw it. It was me. I was in it. It was awesome.

After telling friends and family members that, for 2010's first issue of the Reader, I'd be compiling a list of my 100 favorite movies from the last 10 years and ranking them in preferential order, a few of them asked me, "So how do you do that?"

Eli Roth and Brad Pitt in Inglourious BasterdsAs one calendar year ends and another begins, it feels like a good time to give thanks. And amidst the lame romantic comedies and thrill-less thrillers and unending stream of remakes, sequels, and - in the case of Rob Zombie's Halloween II - even the remake of a sequel, there was actually quite a lot that I was thankful for in the movie year of 2009.

Cloudy with a Chance of MeatballsRunners-Up to the 10 Favorites: Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, District 9, Duplicity, The Hangover, The Informant!, 9 - the animated one, Paranormal Activity, The Princess & the Frog, Public Enemies, Star Trek.

Runners-Up to Those Runners-Up: The Cove, An Education, Good Hair, He's Just Not That Into You, Humpday, Julie & Julia, Michael Jackson's This is It, Taking Woodstock, Up, Zombieland.

Daniel Day-Lewis and Marion Cotillard in NineNINE

Despite its mostly lackluster reviews and rather lame box-office intake, director Rob Marshall's Nine is actually pretty entertaining. But seriously, shouldn't any movie starring Daniel Day-Lewis, Marion Cotillard, Nicole Kidman, Judi Dench, Penélope Cruz, Kate Hudson, and Sophia Loren be considerably better than "pretty entertaining"? (Collectively, these performers have amassed 18 Oscar nominations and eight statuettes, though it's doubtful that Nine will do much to increase those tallies.)

George Clooney and Vera Farmiga in Up in the AirUP IN THE AIR

Heading to Chicagoland on December 23, I spent the whole of my journey driving through a torrential and laughably unseasonable rainstorm, and the trek that normally takes two-and-three-quarter hours wound up taking close to four. Consequently, I missed out on dinner with my folks, arriving in town just in time to meet them for our planned evening screening of the new George Clooney movie.

Euforquestra @ The Englert Theatre"Hey there, Jeff! I hope you and yours are enjoying the merriest of holiday seasons!"

"Well, you're certainly in a good mood."

"I am finished, baby! I got everything done that I needed to get done before heading to my folks' house for Christmas! I wrote my year-in-theatre articles, I'm caught up with online calendar listings, I saw Avatar, and I just sent you the What's Happenin' pages. Done!"

"Is it the same What's Happenin' format that we went with last year?

"Yup. We're providing a go-to guide for entertainment options on New Year's Eve, with a listing of area venues that'll be hosting live music, karaoke, or DJs in the hours before midnight. The bands will be listed there as well as in the paper's Live Music section, and we're including the venues' phone numbers and street and Web addresses. You know, for convenience."

Back in 2006, when I composed my first list of a dozen theatre "Essentials" - theatrical talents whose gifts were employed in a number of area productions - I couldn't have imagined that I'd find a dozen new names to add year after year. Well, as 2009 draws to a close, we can officially add another " ... after year" to that sentence.

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