Apparently, director Gary Clark doesn't think Playcrafters Barn Theatre audiences will get author Pat Cook's jokes in the venue's current If It's Monday, This Must Be Murder, because almost every already-obvious punchline is accented with a combination of slow, careful enunciation and a physical action. For example, the main character, Michael Schmidt's Monday, is referenced in another character's line, "Rainy days and Monday always get me down." On Saturday, though, the actor saying this put vocal emphasis on the "Monday" and grandly gesticulated toward Schmidt, as though this rather lame attempt at humor needed to be clarified. It was one of many not-so-clever quips that were rendered even less funny through Clark's, and his cast's, efforts to make sure they weren't missed.

After compiling the list of stage presentations coming to area venues this spring, three things became immediately clear.

(1) Audiences are getting a rather intimidating number of options, with (at last count) no fewer than 57 plays or musicals scheduled to open between March 1 and May 31.

(2) Audiences are getting a rather incredible variety of options - everything from a comedy by Woody Allen to a musical by Woody Guthrie.

(3) Absolutely none of these numerous and diverse theatrical productions features me.

While drying your eyes, though, do your best to get excited about this spring's lineup anyway ... which, I hasten to add, shouldn't be very difficult.

The District Theatre's production of Scenery boasts the most range I've yet seen from actor Ed Villarreal, who is obviously growing as an artist after notable performances in the (then-) Harrison Hilltop Theatre's Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street and Jesus Christ Superstar last year, and New Ground Theatre's Bad Habits last month. During Thursday night's show, he incorporated an accent, plus shifts in vocal inflection and projection, to punctuate either the humor or emotion of his lines, and in so doing, successfully shaped his Richard as an aging actor resigned to his status.

Those familiar with Davenport Junior Theatre might find its forthcoming production of Mia the Melodramatic a bit ... well ... familiar. After all, the show concerns a children's theatre company that finds kids starring in and producing plays for other kids, and even comes complete with its own mascot in the form of an energetic, floppy-shoed clown.

Rest assured: Any similarities between the fictional children's theatre of Mia the Melodramatic and Davenport Junior Theatre itself are completely intentional.